7 months and 6 days

I’m sitting in a cafe right now, not sure what I’m going to write or how.

Its been a long time since I sat and wrote anything not work related.

I am writing this Valentines day 2018. As of today (14 Feb) it has been…*google calculator*…221 days since my dad died.

7 months and 6 days apparently.

I am sitting in a cafe, trying not to cry. I’m also wishing I’d picked a cafe a little further from my work, but hell, I’m writing this over my lunch break.

William on his birth certificate.

Bill to his mates.

Billy to my Mum.

Pa Bill to my kids.

Dad to me and my sisters.

On Saturday, 8 July 2017, he died. Complications from stage 4 lung cancer that was only discovered in fucking June.

Not a lot of time to get used to the idea.

7 months and 6 days later and to be honest I’m still not used to the idea.

I try to avoid the lurking reminders that he is just not there anymore. Typing this is so fucking hard because I don’t want to admit he is dead. Theres a gnawing roaring hole left where he was. It’s quiet most of the time, but its just waiting for me to slip forget not to think about it.

7 months and 6 days might seem a long time, but I needed to wait until I could see the keys through the fog.

I’m not sure I waited long enough.

He was 67 years old.

Fucking 67.

Not very old. Not old enough to be gone.

He’s gone and 7 months and 6 days later I still hate it.


#5DayDraw – Day 1 #LightonDark

A little break in writing over Easter.

Just playing with my Sketchable program on the  Surface again. This challenge was from a short training program (Drawing Inspiration by Von Glitschka) on Lynda.com (my work has access to this training database that is owned by LinkedIn).

Anyway, the project was to draw using light colours on dark paper. Not having dark paper, I used a black backdrop and a light blue sketching colour. I was going to neaten this up…but then I decided I liked the scrappiness of how it turned out.

Good Friday Rabbit.jpg

Easter Rabbit

Anyway – just something I’m checking out.


Today’s update

Missed last night – headache meant I went to bed at about 7.30.

Still carrying one tonight, but I did do some writing.

Daily word count: 389

Total word count: 19,648

It was tough going again…and they were a bit shit…again.

Ah well.

I’ll try to be more positive tomorrow, I promise.



Brief update – some writing occured

Doodle 2.jpg

Another Doodle

Ah yes, more doo-doo-doodling. Relaxing.


Weird tentacle guitar doodle? Whatever

Hmm. This one got weird.

Anyway – just a brief update today.

Daily word count: 351

Total word count: 19,259

Not that easy to get down, and the internet was a huge distraction, but got my 350. That’ll do pig. That’ll do.



Keeping things interesting

Well another day down, and another day where it wasn’t too hard to get the words down.

I did waste about 10 minutes on twitter, but that’s actually not too bad for me. Twitter is a real trap for me (A constantly refreshing distraction from things I should be doing? YES PLEASE!).

Daily word count: 367

Total word count: 18,908

Not far off 19,000 words, which is not far off 20k. I might reward myself with that milestone…maybe I need to factor in a system of rewards – something cool at every 10k perhaps? I’ll think about it. Just something to keep things interesting.

Speaking of keeping things interesting, I’ve been doing a few side projects as well as this writing. I’ve started mucking about with learning how to code with Coding for Dummies – something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now. I’ve also started plotting out a small project that has been lingering in the back of my mind for a while now – its a writing project, but not this novel. I wont go into that, because I’m not actually sure if I will keep going or not.

But anyway – these are all things for me to do in little bits and chunks so I can achieve something without getting overwhelmed. Or maybe I’ll fail at all of them and feel bad about three things.

Let’s see!



A deep breath before diving



Digital Scrachpad Doodle – by KT

So, back again.


I didn’t write last on the last two nights. I had forgotten that Thursday was Nerd Night, and I had a great time playing a new PS4 game (Drawn to Death – interesting little game with seriously immature humour which happens to be spot on for this 41-going-on-15 individual).  I didn’t write last night because I was dosed up on painkillers (hurt my shoulder lifting my daughter up because I’m also 41-going-on-85).

But tonight…

Daily word count: 431

Total word count: 18,541

So not a bad amount, and I pumped it out pretty quick. It didn’t hurt as much getting the words down this time, and was in a far better headspace than I have been for weeks.

I’ve got a few good tips, both on this blog and in real life, but something that has helped me recently both getting back into writing and actually getting things done at work has been doodling. Not drawing, just doodling.

I’ve been watching a few YouTube videos and found this spacey artist (Peter Draws) on whose art is as mesmerising as his weird videos (here is ‘How to Doodle‘). Anyway, I did the above today which is kind of a ‘digital scrachpad’ – in that I coloured a layer in multiple bright colours, then placed a black layer over the top, and then doodled the above using the eraser tool (and the 4 way symmetry tool). It’s kinda silly and really simple, but the repetition of shapes and patterns is as relaxing as hell, and I gotta really recommend it if you need to change gears. The aim isn’t to get a masterpiece, just to make some marks on paper (physical or digital.

After I did this doodle I set it up for my kids, and they played with it too. Fun for the whole family 🙂

Anyway, lets hope I see you tomorrow night with another update! Maybe I’ll write. Maybe I’ll doodle some more. Maybe both.