Keepsakes and memories

 

Oskar switched off the sander, it slowed with a whine as he finished. He smiled, loving the smell of sawdust; loving the sense of control he gets taking redwood and shaping it to his desires.

This was another memories board, designed to hang and display his keepsakes. Trinkets from places he meets his ladies, his conquests. He wondered if it was crass to memorialise his holiday lovers this way, but whilst their time together was short, he never wanted to forget them.

Sirens cried in the distance; police on route to Tourist Beach. Oskar smiled; they weren’t heading this way.(word count: 100)


A Friday Fictioneers challenge from Rochelle’s blog.

I’m currently doing a little research on writing horror, with the plan to write a blog post on it (maybe more than one). So, in honour of Halloween, I had the urge to take a slightly creepier approach this time. There is no violence or gore, but I was hoping to achieve at least a little ‘chill’, an implication of something being ‘not right’.

Let me know what you think in the comments – was this creepy? Did you get a sense of menace?

Thanks for reading.


 

 

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41 thoughts on “Keepsakes and memories

  1. Dear WB,

    I love the foreshadowing you did in writing about the sense of control he gets in shaping the redwood to his desire. Very smooth story with a nice twist from sweet to suddenly macabre.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow! Most men might keep a little black book, but Oskar has taken it to a new level. I thought this was going to be a sweet story until I reached “his conquests” and it turned dark. It has a menacing undertone, subtly creepy. I enjoy a good creepy story. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Creepy place to go with such a bright photo. Interestingly, the woodwork in this photo initially brought to mind a bloody murder of some sort for me. I suppose it’s the saw that, although not present in the photo, must clearly be nearby.

    Cheers!
    MG

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree with the others here… That first subtly creepy feeling comes with his shaping the wood to his desires…. And it just gets creepier by the sentence from that point. And then that (smug) smile at the end …. Shudder! Well done —

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pretty darn good in 100 words, I’d say! To be honest, the photo itself threw me off from feeling palpable creepiness, but that wasn’t your doing. I’m going tobe a bit nit-picky in the spirit of both of us continuing to learn and offer that maybe to make his relationship to the wood and hence his victims more direct, perhaps change some of the words, example: instead of ‘loving the sense of control he gets’, try just ‘the control he gets’. And ‘memorialize’ kinda repeats ‘memories board’ (which may have been your intent) What about using commemorate? Also evokes a trophy-esque connotation, which is what law enforcement calls those little items serial killers keep.

    Like

    1. I’m very happy to get these sort of comments – polite, constructive criticism 🙂 – exactly why I’m doing this.

      Good suggestions – plus saving a few words, which is always a bonus. I’ll take these on board.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting!
      KT

      Liked by 1 person

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