The storm had flushed the streets, expunging the city of years of accumulated garbage, but it had simply been carried to where the river narrowed. The homeless had been similarly relocated, and now waded waist-deep in swirling muck, picking though the floating trash. Building mounds of sad treasures.
I stood with Mark on the bridge, watching the winnowers gather their pathetic harvest.
“Look at that filth,” he said, “it’s disgusting.”
I scanned his face, wondering if he referred to washed up rubbish or the unfortunates collecting it. I kept silent, unsure if the question reflected on him or on me.
(Word count 100)
Another Friday Fictioneer’s 100 word challenge with a prompt put forward from Rochelle’s blog (this link will take you to all the stories). I hope you enjoy this story – once I thought of the word detritus, I couldn’t get past the image of scavengers hunting through the garbage. The rest… well poverty rarely encourages the empathy it should.
Cheers
KT
Uncertain Tales 
Excellent! I loved that last line, so reflective.
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Dear KT,
I’ve heard it said that when you point a finger there are three pointing back. Well done reflection that touches us all.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear KT,
Very well written and sadly for us, too true. A boon for archeologists of the future, though. Silver lining on that cloud, but not for us. We get to reap the whirlwind.
Aloha,
Doug
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Great story, very thought-provoking.
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I love how you turn the thought around at the very end – reflecting not just on the narrator but also on the rest of us. Nice.
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I love stories with a message.. you can indeed wonder with people like that.
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watching the winnowers gather their pathetic harvest. What a stellar line.
I wondered the same thing – the garbage or the people. Good work!
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KT,
Ewww . . . What a disgusting human being Mark is. I hope your narrator has the sense to cut any ties with him as soon as possible. In this situation, it’s time to be the solution.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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I can’t decide whether the guilty one is Mark or the writer. Well written.
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many disgusting things in this story, but this Mark is the worst.
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A thought provoking piece.
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KT,
I guess I’m going to agree with the other commenters that this is thought-provoking. Mark, at least, seems to lack empathy for their situation.
-David
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Good thought-provoking story with a powerful last line. Now I’ll have to look up “Detritus.”
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Beautiful story, KT, very moving. The issues of the homeless are stark enough, but adding the flood (or any natural disaster) really makes this that much stronger. Nice job!
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Excellent piece of writing.
AnElephant enjoys it.
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Really thoughtful piece and a well chosen illustration. Hope the relationship works. That doubt will be a burden.
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Dear KT, Wonderful story you wrote and I don’t care for Mark at all. I do love your illustration of a winnower and this story made me think a lot about the world in general. Sad. Good story though! Nan 🙂
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Great piece, very thought-provoking. I particularly like the line “winnowers gather their pathetic harvest”.
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Outstanding piece, KT. One of your best so far. I thought you choose the perfect words for the story as so many of the comments have reflected your skill with language. I cannot pass judgment on Mark or the narrator. I know there were times in my life when I made condescending remarks (or at least thought them) about someone less fortunate that me. Today, it breaks may heart to watch the homeless dig through trash looking for a half-eaten hot dog or an aluminum can to recycle.
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always the questions that we are unwilling to face and answer
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Sometimes it is hard to recognize that we judge others. We like to think its everyone else that judges…certainly not us!
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Cleverly written – especially the last line.
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Good story! Of all the stories I have read so far, seems we are all leaning toward the “evils” of this world. 🙂
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I like the image of the flood washing all the city’s garbage away. I couldn’t help imagining a sparkling clean city after the water has passed through. Of course the rubbish,of all kinds, is all still there, and the self-doubt of your narrator is convincingly portrayed. Good story.
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It is said that some people’s garbage, is other people’s treasure.
Lily
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KT, Well-written and sad story that’s all too realistic in our times. The homeless are a threat to some people so they are moved on out of sight. It reflects on us as a society. Good story. — Susan
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Beautifully written. Great tension between your characters.
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Love your concentration on the ambiguity of Mark’s statement. Your narrator’s last comment could apply equally to your readers – well done.
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Love the concentration on the ambiguity of Mark’s statement. And your narrator’s last line could apply equally to your readers. Well done.
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