Lost in language (or May’s maize maze)

“I blame Shakespeare.”


“Inventing words. Making English difficult.”

English? The English language or the English people?

“That’s my point! Homonyms, homophones; its too confusing. All this complexity adds nothing!”

Adze as in an axe? Or Ads, meaning more than one advertisement?

“Damn! I will beat you senseless!

A dam to hold back water? Beet as in red root vegetable? Scents-less or Cents-less? Wait, wait… or is it weight?


Forgive those days of yore, you’re, your or yaw. Errors were common, the ability to write, was a privilege, not a right. Right?


“I blame Shakespeare.”

Indeed. The bard should be barred.

(Word count: 100)

Sometimes I (eye) wonder if I try to be too (to, two) clever.

Anyway, I got a bunch of ideas with the image (provided by Melanie Greenwood) for this weeks Friday Fictioneers prompt. But when I clicked through to Melanie’s blog ‘This Is My Corn‘, the maze/maize link wouldn’t leave my mind. Add in my natural tendancy to be a smart arse, and I envisaged this conversation.

Anyway, feel free to leave a comment or criticism. I can take it, I’m a big boy (buoy).

Click here (hear) to read the other tales (tails).



Postscript 2/2/2015: Oops! I meant to link this post to a previous one where I tortured myself over writing and engaged in wordplay : Go with your gut (a lazy 200 word piece).


24 thoughts on “Lost in language (or May’s maize maze)

  1. Love the puns :)) What’s weird to me is that all these homonyms and homophones – not to mention all those confusing punctuation marks – and other complexity always seem to wind up in court. I guess they’re all waiting to be sentenced.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. This made me chuckle! Both my parents are teachers and they liked to pregrade my assignments in school. Thankfully, my teachers were much more generous with good grades than my parents 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A clever submission KT. As someone who used to teach English to Germans, this piece (peace) certainly elicits (or illicits) some sympathy. I remember one lesson where I tried to explain the pronunciation of bough, cough, tough, through and thorough. Not to mention explaining the meaning of the word ‘to’ in front of a verb in the infinitive form. Happy days. Thanks for brightening my morning.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome, thanks Sandra. I thought about having one of the speakers be a non-native English speaker, but writing in the additional confusion ate up too many words. They tyranny of the 100 limit strikes again!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Fantastic piece, KT. I’d say you’re well on the road to becoming the next PerryBlock.com. If you think the English language is confusing, you should listen to the people from south Louisiana talk. I just shake my head and think “WTF did he just say?”

    Liked by 1 person

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