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Changeling

PHOTO PROMPT –Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

“OK, you can go outside and play,” Xenia’s father smiled, ruffling her dark curly hair, “But stay close and mind your mother’s rules!”

Don’t go next door. We don’t mix with them.

Xenia crossed the lawn grinning. A quiet defiance, this visit must remain her secret. Xenia was already a source of disappointment; not blonde or blue-eyed, not mild or sensible. So unlike either parent.

A changeling.

The door opened and Xenia stared at another little dark curly-haired girl. A mirror image. Another changeling

Xenia realised she was not the only one to visit this house in secret.

Word count: 100

A quick piece for Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple Friday Fictioneer’s challenge – the challenge is to tell a complete story in 100 words after viewing the photo prompt. This one was fun to write, but I debated that last line… Should I have left it off and let the reader finish the story? Or does it actually complete it properly?

Let me know what you think!

Click here to read the rest of the stories. Maybe give it a go 🙂

Postscript: I make a point of not reading any of the other stories until I have created my own – it’s very difficult to come up with a truly original story once you have been influenced by someone else’s take. Normally that works, but today… I post the story, and the first one I read is somewhat similar!

Ah well, can’t do anything about that. 🙂

 

36 thoughts on “Changeling”

  2. I had to re-read several times to work out the genetics and understand who was visiting whom. Nice twist. Very telling that Xenia’s father sees much that isn’t there, yet is blind to what’s right in front of him.

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    1. Thanks 🙂 I envisaged the father as a bit absent minded and unfocused, otherwise he might have noticed neighbourhood resemblances! Then again, perhaps he sees only what he wants to see…

      Cheers & thanks for reading
      KT

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  3. I don’t think the last line does any harm. It certainly leaves questions, but I rather like that aspect. A lot of the Friday Fictioneers write pieces that could either inspire and slot into a much larger body of writing, but as long as it stands along [which I’d say this one does], it’s fine.

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    1. Thanks Carol – I’ll count this as a vote for ‘leave the last line’ in 🙂

      I agree with you – The #FridayFictioneers pieces should be able to be read stand alone (its in the rules!), but many could easily slot into larger pieces which add resolutions, characters, etc. I like the occasional ones that revisit a place or persons too – but again, each piece should stand on its own.

      Thanks for reading!
      KT

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  5. Dear KT,

    All I can say is great minds think alike. Although the children in my story weren’t changelings. They were genetic anomalies. Your story’s intriguing. I’m not sure if the story would work better without the last line or not.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Cheers Rochelle 🙂 – I went back and re-read your story (and read the comment under the photo). What I thought was impropriety was an unusual genetic result. Perhaps this says something about me!

      The last line seems to be running 50/50 at the moment. I guess this is why authors have editors 🙂

      Thanks for reading
      KT

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  11. I enjoyed your story. I thought it was unique. I didn’t tie it in with what Rochelle had written until I read your comment on her story. As to the last line, I read it both ways. I like it both ways – I know that’s not much help. I think it depends on where you want to take the story.

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  17. I like the last line, and I’m thinking that Xenia must have been a little older than I first thought, if she realised what was going on. This is a great portrayal of these characters and their lives. You’ve covered a lot of territory in your 100 words.

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  23. I forget who at the moment, but a rather well known author once said there are really only 3 or 4 stories in all the world, and all that we write are just variants on a theme. Once I became somewhat well-read I realized she was right. Since then I don’t really worry about being truly original; I just try to say what I want to say in my own voice, with my own style.

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