You spoil everything


“I hate you!” Denying her daughter some minor trinket, Diane had already riled the angry beast this morning; waving the red rag at the endlessly enraged stranger who had once suckled at her teat, and now suckled on her bank account, her patience, and her youth. “You spoil everything!”

Diane raised a weary eyebrow, focusing her bloodshot glare at the squalling monster through the piss-yellow filter of a high quality chardonnay. Swirling the wine around her mouth to wash away the minty remnants of toothpaste, Diane had to agree.

Five Sentence Fiction

This depressing story is my entry to the 5SF challenge this week where the prompt word was ‘spoiled‘.

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. – Lillie McFerrin

The rest of the stories can be found by clicking this link.

I’ve had a little time off this last week. My Grandmother hasn’t had the best health news recently, and I’ve not really been in the right mood or frame of mind to be creative. Now I’ve had my down-time, I think that was a mistake – perhaps I should have sat down and kept writing, work out the bad mojo on the page.

Anyway back to it.

Any comments or criticisms appreciated.










9 thoughts on “You spoil everything

  1. Chardonnay and Cheerios – breakfast of champions? I think not…
    The subject’s depressing, but the writing isn’t. I like the short sentences that frame the first paragraph, and how you mimicked it in the second with the help of commas when you didn’t have any more sentences left.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are one of my favorite authors in the blogosphere. Your stories have such clarity and you manage to make the most of your words. The stories have a real punch to them.

    This one is a beauty. Mom unhappy, wine at breakfast, aware of her shortcomings; daughter miserable, bratty, but maybe with reason.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Kate – that’s a lovely thing to say 🙂 I appreciate this a lot – getting this sort of feedback makes it easier to sit down at the PC time after time.

      I’m glad that youve liked my stuff- I hope I can keep the quality up! I do try to make every piece ‘say something’, although some are more successful than others.

      I’ve been slack reading others blogs last week, I’ll have to make an effort this week

      Liked by 1 person

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