Dark roast

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

“…”

“What?”

“…”

“Seriously? Now?”

“You never take my side. Never.”

“Huh? I don’t understand…”

“You. Laughed.”

“I laughed? Wha..? I was grabbing our passports, the photos of our kids…”

“Afterwards. The guy made a crack about my cooking, and you laughed.”

“Wait…”

“Never mind. Thanks for all the support. Glad to know you’ll joke it up with a guy you just met at my expense. Feeling really loved.”

“He’s a fireman.”

“And comedian. So talented.”

“You nearly burnt the house down. Making coffee.”

“Maybe you two could go to the pub once he’s done.”

“….”

“…”

“Do they serve coffee there?”

“…”

“Ouch!”


Word Count: 100

Another Friday Fictioneer’s 100 word story. For those unfamiliar with the concept…

Friday Fictioneers; courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields blog Addicted to Purple

 

Click here to read the other stories 🙂

Another revisit to my argumentative couple from two previous  posts. I like these two, and enjoy writing in their voices. So far as the exercise goes, writing in pure dialogue is also a lot of fun (and I feel improves my dialogue writing overall).

What I particularly like with these two is the meaningful moments of silence. I think they work, but I’d be interested in what you think.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

KT

 

 

 

 

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30 thoughts on “Dark roast

  1. Dear KT,

    First I’m trying to figure out how one could nearly burn the house down making coffee and I wasn’t quite sure who made the coffee. No matter…I love the dialogue and I could see it going either way between him and her. Dark Roast is the perfect title.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS I once fried a pot boiling eggs. I’d put the eggs on to boil and then came up to my office. Totally absorbed in my writing I forgot about the eggs until they started exploding with loud pops. Shell and bits of egg everywhere.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thanks Rochelle 🙂

      I actually nearly burnt a house down when I put hotdogs on the boil and fell asleep. It was 3am and I was so drunk I slept through the fire alarm – I’m lucky I was living with a girlfriend at the time!

      Well, lucky in the sense I didn’t burn to death. I certainly paid for this error which felt somewhat less lucky. 🙂

      Cheers
      KT

      Like

    1. Ha, I actually didn’t intend for these to be ‘expletives’! Rather my intent when writing was to have meaningful silences. I was trying to imply that the characters were saying something by not saying something.

      For example, I know that sometimes when my wife doesn’t say something, she’s actually shouting at me :).

      However if you take these as expletives, then suddenly it’s a very heated conversation!

      Ah well, once the story is written, its out there for the audiences to interpret – that’s half the fun of writing these stories.
      Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting.
      Kindest regards
      KT

      Like

  2. I had to read it a few times to understand it, but I think that was because in my mind’s eye I was reading the italics as thoughts rather than speech. Yet because of the pauses and expletives it would be difficult, without the italics to work out who was speaking. I think as a dialogue it works fine, but presentationally it’s a bit confusing. Maybe the expletives in asterisks? I don’t know. But great dialogue – I could just imagine them.

    Like

    1. Thanks Sandra – ah, a problem I should have foreseen, as I use the ‘italics representing thoughts’ myself (a habit I picked up from reading Frank Herbert and Stephen King!).

      I’ve made a small change – I’ve kept one character in italics, but added quotation marks – hopefully this marks out the statement/response of two characters I hoped for!

      I also didn’t intend for those ellipses to be expletives – I really meant them as ‘meaningful silences’… but I’ve left these – I guess it means some people read a much more heated argument than I intended!

      Thanks for reading and the comment 🙂
      KT

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear KT,

    Took me a while too, to figure out who was whom and what was happening. I admire writers who are not afraid to let dialog tell the story. At the very least, doing so demands more of the writer and he/she must get it right in order that the same is not demanded of the reader. So kudos to you for this story and the riff on coffee. Loved the title. Will be teasing Rochelle about it. She once almost burned down her kitchen with her coffee maker but like to say she was cooking eggs or something. Humor her.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I read it as an internal dialogue of a person, possibly friend/husband with the other person (friend, wife…) who was speaking loudly and found it great, especially with all the pauses. It’s like she is reading his thoughts from his expressions, from that conversation they read each other well, although their communication skills… reading the comments, I’m a bit confused. But in any case, I found it a great take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The use of dialogue is a great idea and it works well here. I like the meaningful silences. After years of marriage, I realize that sometimes we communicate just as much through the silences than we do through our words. Loved it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Part 2 of my comment (itchy posting finger – sorry) … but underneath you’ve portrayed a problem I’ve witnessed in a few marriages, and maybe is an Australian thing – not sure. Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

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