The blacksmith’s advice (on asking to marry his daughter)

Foyer de forge lors de la Saint-Éloi 2012, manifestation organisée par le Centre d’Histoire Sociale au Moulin Saint-Gilles à Rouen.

Foyer de forge lors de la Saint-Éloi 2012, manifestation organisée par le Centre d’Histoire Sociale au Moulin Saint-Gilles à Rouen. photo credit: Foyer via photopin (license)

“Marriage is a metal,” the huge man said, pumping the forge so the flames roared and the heat swallowed us. “You need fire or you’re wasting your time.”

He whipped an iron bar from the forge, holding its glowing red tip mere inches from my sweating face.

“But every fire goes out… and what you get left with is weak and brittle.” He began pounding the bar his speech punctuated by each swing of his massive hammer, “if you want something durable, tough, useful… well you need to work it.”


 

A super short story for Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction challenge where the prompt word was ‘Flames‘.

This one… is not my best. I think there is a good metaphor here, I just couldn’t get it to work right. I’ve also abused the rules of English punctuation to get this to fit into five sentences, which is never a positive sign.

Oh well, maybe I’ll revisit it.In any case, check the other stories here!

(And leave a comment or a like, I love to get feedback :)).

Cheers

KT

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12 thoughts on “The blacksmith’s advice (on asking to marry his daughter)

  1. It’s a piece of a story, not so much it’s own story. A good analogy, and well demonstrated. I think it fits perfectly with the image too, so I did not feel like I had been cheated of a story, nor that you were proselytizing.

    Oh: ‘punctuated by by each’ I caught an error!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like this because it has great, vivid imagery. Very easy to visualize the strong man, working at his trade, dispensing no-nonsense advice. There’s a lot of truth contained in the blacksmith’s brief words.

    One of your posters says it is a piece of a story; I think that’s true in that it’s something I’d love to see as part of a bigger story. You really are a fine writer – these five sentences show your skill.

    When you get an opportunity, stop by and see my take on the prompt. I’ll warn you now it is… odd. I was in a quirky mood when writing it. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I shall check it out – I don’t mind weird 🙂

      I can see how this might be seen as a fragment – I think most of my ‘unhappiness’ with it was due to feeling restricted by the sentence limit. It needed ten sentences to get context & completion.

      Thanks again for the very kind words!

      Like

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