All aboard the Spamwagon

photo credit: spamwagon via photopin (license)

photo credit: spamwagon via photopin (license)

Spam.

If you spend any time on this consumer of attention we call the internet you will have seen it; a slurry of loosely connected words and a convenient hyper-link to assist you in donating your money and identity to some criminal with no ethics and a wifi connection.

If you have a WordPress account, most of these are blocked, with the occasional junk comment caught like a fly in amber in the Spam Queue. While undertaking a regular cleanse of this electronic roadkill, I encountered a spectacular example that I will share with you today.

It is far too long to read all the way – indeed I recommend against it. Click it, scroll through to get an impression, then look away quickly lest you be lost within its glory. Seriously, its nearly 3000 words long, check it out, giggle, then click away and get on with your life.

Cheers all.

KT


 

Genuine spam I have tentatively titled: “Keeping Your Options Open”

Unedited for your pleasure.

{
{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet
I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It
is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful
than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.

{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch}
your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to
find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink}
or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. Do {you have|you’ve}
any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know}
{so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe.
Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to
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{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles referring
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{things|issues} {approximately|about} it!|
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{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
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Any way keep up wrinting.|
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{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and
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{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys
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{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks},
I appreciate it!|
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{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time to time} and i own a similar one and i was just {wondering|curious}
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{Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
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{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited
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{Hi|Hello}, Neat post. {There is|There’s} {a problem|an issue} {with your|together with
your|along with your} {site|web site|website} in {internet|web} explorer, {may|might|could|would} {check|test} this?
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9 thoughts on “All aboard the Spamwagon

    1. I get lots and lots and lots of people telling me I’m not SEO optimised, that my layout (default WordPress number #1) is great and that I’m providing very useful information to the public (apparently my 100 word stories are helpful in the spam community)
      😀

      Liked by 1 person

  1. That’s a masterpiece, like the kind you can stare at and see something new every day. But staring at that one too long might land you in a rubber room.

    But you never know with spam… Once I actually had a literary agent contact me via comment and request that I query her. So you never know what will turn up.

    Liked by 1 person

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